What To Do When A Man Withdraws
Love is sometimes difficult to understand and men can quite often be complex creatures for women who love them. Almost every man, at one time or another, is going to withdraw from the woman he loves. There are some definite steps that you can take to draw him closer and to keep from pushing him further away. Relationship advice can be tough to follow and, quite often, amazingly enough, the thing you should do is the exact opposite of what you feel like doing. Relationship problems are a realilty for all of us but the following will help you know what to do when a man withdraws.
First and foremost, give him space. It is natural to want to call the man you love or be near him when you think he is going through a hard time. Stop. That's right - simply stop. Men, unlike women, process their worry and anxiety differently than women. It is natural for us to think that his withdrawal is related to us and the relationship. That may be true, but not necessarily. And, even if it is, he needs time alone to overcome his fears. Your understanding and patience will work wonders.
Do not call him, do not ask him what's wrong. Instead, get busy with your life. Get involved in some activity or activities that will take your mind off of him and your relationship. He is quite capable of dealing with his own problems without your help. Allow him to do so. He truly doesn't need your relationship advice although you might feel desperate to give it to him.
When he comes back around, and he will if you allow him his time, be open and be happy. Do not have an attitude with him as to why it took him so long to call or to start talking again. As a matter of fact, it works best if you act as if you barely noticed he was gone. You might say something like, "It feels great to hear from you or to see you," but you don't want to make a big deal out of his absence. Instead, you should be filled with exciting news about your life and what has been going on. This relieves him of feeling responsible for your happiness and makes him think that being with you for the long haul would be light and easy, not dramatic and tough. Relationship problems are not something that a man wants to discuss so don't do so unless you have no other recourse.
Many women often wonder how long they have to wait for their man to get over his withdrawal. Unfortunately, every man is different. The decision is really totally up to you. His withdrawal may last a few days or it could last a few months. Since you are not putting your life on hold, it really doesn't matter how long it takes him.
My last words of love and relationship advice are to always remember that as long as you keep stepping toward him, he will keep moving back. If you instead step back and create the space needed for him to step forward, he will do just that. And most of all, remember, everyone has relationship problems. It's how you choose to address those problems that will keep your relationship moving forward.
First and foremost, give him space. It is natural to want to call the man you love or be near him when you think he is going through a hard time. Stop. That's right - simply stop. Men, unlike women, process their worry and anxiety differently than women. It is natural for us to think that his withdrawal is related to us and the relationship. That may be true, but not necessarily. And, even if it is, he needs time alone to overcome his fears. Your understanding and patience will work wonders.
Do not call him, do not ask him what's wrong. Instead, get busy with your life. Get involved in some activity or activities that will take your mind off of him and your relationship. He is quite capable of dealing with his own problems without your help. Allow him to do so. He truly doesn't need your relationship advice although you might feel desperate to give it to him.
When he comes back around, and he will if you allow him his time, be open and be happy. Do not have an attitude with him as to why it took him so long to call or to start talking again. As a matter of fact, it works best if you act as if you barely noticed he was gone. You might say something like, "It feels great to hear from you or to see you," but you don't want to make a big deal out of his absence. Instead, you should be filled with exciting news about your life and what has been going on. This relieves him of feeling responsible for your happiness and makes him think that being with you for the long haul would be light and easy, not dramatic and tough. Relationship problems are not something that a man wants to discuss so don't do so unless you have no other recourse.
Many women often wonder how long they have to wait for their man to get over his withdrawal. Unfortunately, every man is different. The decision is really totally up to you. His withdrawal may last a few days or it could last a few months. Since you are not putting your life on hold, it really doesn't matter how long it takes him.
My last words of love and relationship advice are to always remember that as long as you keep stepping toward him, he will keep moving back. If you instead step back and create the space needed for him to step forward, he will do just that. And most of all, remember, everyone has relationship problems. It's how you choose to address those problems that will keep your relationship moving forward.
hi nurul,
BalasHapushow are you? everything going well for you?
btw, i just read your older blog post abt 'Are Older, Successful Men Scared Of Commitment?' on google reader and really liked it ... an interesting stuff for men over 40 like me as well ... LOL ...
unfortunately, i coudn't find it online here => did you remove that? ohhhhh ...
best greetings from munich :-),
j.
I dont agree with the above article, yes I believe if a man is going through a difficult time to give him space, but if a man withdraws for a period of weeks/months without communicating with you or calling you simply forget him, it is disrespectful behaviour, it displays a complete lack of common courtesy and it is most definitely not loving behaviour, these posts need to stop being published, during the time the man is withdrawing, i guarantee he has time for his friends, family work colleagues, he has time to eat engage in activities he likes and yet he doesnt call you? this is beyond ridiculous, when my father died and I experienced the lowest low of my life, I still showed respect and affection towards my partner. No matter what is going on in a mans life, if he stops calling you or showing common decency, forget him, its pure selfishness and you are worth more than that, its high time men made compromises and tried to start thinking like women instead of us constantly putting ourselves out for men. I often see posts "never try to change a man" well a man expecting us to wait months for a call, is a man " trying to change a woman" as it is not in our nature to cease communication. Men cop on get over yourselves and learn effective communication, its easily learned and once you learn this valuable life tool, you will
BalasHapusI totally agree why cant men just learn to deal with there emotions and talk about them with there partners. Its called communcation. If you men cant do that when your dating then what makes yall think the marriage will work? Communcation is the first thing you need for a succesfull relationship. Just saying
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Good advice.. Its true and its work...
BalasHapusBut it hard to believe the overcome for it advice make us really down and worst..
The opposite thinga.. Mans ar cruel.. To be positive for our sakes as women... Dont hurt your self by overthinking.. Sometimes i turn to be emotional and hate it to survive... And when he comeback... I let myself vulnerability and stop my anger right away to revenge or etc.. we cant blame man.... But please man alse cant blame women to be emotional after what they doin..
Thats why so rare we found a man who doesnt use "man cave" on part of his life...
Thats why i stay single and dont had relationship
I want had relationship with kids... Someday.. Only kids...